2013 NFL MOCK DRAFT

It is my belief that we live in a world that has way too man entitled teenagers, way too much country music, far too many Kardashian sisters, and way too many NFL mock drafts.  Sadly, i'm adding on to the trend, as I do every year.  In my defense, even though it's become overkill, the over mockage is still more preferable than the 1994 method of doing things....

So once again, I've made a first round mock draft. This is a process that has actually been in the works for about a month now. There's been quite a bit of tinkering.  I do mine with a ton of qualifiers. This is not what I would do if I were the team, and trades are absolutely ruled out. This is simply what I think would happen if no draft day trades take place, because I obviously can't predict the draft day transaction madness.  

Before my official 2013 first round mock, here are the results of my 2012 Mock Draft, which was also completed 2 nights before the draft last year.

2012 RESULTS

# of players correctly picked in round: 26/32

# of players correctly picked by spot: 5/32

# of players correctly picked by team: 6/32

1.    KC-LUKE JOECKEL OT TEXAS A&M (Coin flip between he and Fisher)

2.    JAX- ERIC FISHER OT CENTRAL MICHIGAN (Fisher or Jordan here I would guess. Gus Bradley would love Jordan, but over the long-term I think they're safe play is Eric Fisher or Luke Joeckel if KC decides to go with Fisher)

3.    OAK- STAR LOLOTULELEI DT UTAH (I forgot Al Davis was dead)

4.     PHI- DION JORDAN OLB OREGON (Chip Kelly will have some impact. I'm sure they'd like to roll with a LT but Jordan is worlds better than the next available LT)

5.    DET-LANE JOHNSON OT OKLAHOMA (Once the tackles start going fast and furious Detroit will decide to take Johnson, although they're intrigued by Ansah according to David Newbury of Sports Radio 1310 The Ticket. A man who has done more crazy stuff than I could ever imagine.  Seriously. All the weird stuff)

6.    CLE-SHARIFF FLOYD DT FLORIDA (Not convinced this will be Cleveland picking here. They will try to trade out I think)

7.    ARI-EZEKIEL ANSAH DE BYU (They need O-line help, but Ansah fills a need for them as well as being the best available player.  Unless for some reason they think Cooper can play tackle, I think they roll with Ansah)

8.    BUF-RYAN NASSIB QB SYRACUSE (I would hope they try to trade down and then take Nassib if that's really their guy. If they take Nassib at 8, we can just chalk it up to another crappy thing about Buffalo. Besides the Goo Goo Dolls. Those guys were pretty bad-ass in the 90s)

9.    NYJ-TAVON AUSTIN WR WEST VIRGINIA (The extra pick in the Revis trade really secured this for me as well as many other pundits. I think they take him at 9 rather than 13 though just in case someone gets handsy)

10. TEN-JONATHAN COOPER OG UNC (I think they'll go with Cooper or Warmack here, just a hunch on Cooper)

11. SD-DJ FLUKER OT ALABAMA (It's a reach, but they'll prefer a tackle over a guard. Warmack is a possibility here, but I think this is the destination for Fluker)

12. MIA-DEE MILLINER CB ALABAMA (Injury history and recent reports haven't really scared many teams in my opinion. I do think he'll slide out of the top ten, but not because of health. Mainly because of people like Ryan Nassib and Tavon Austin)

13. NYJ (from TB)-CHANCE WARMACK OG NYJ (They'll be thrilled that he lasted to 13. Other hunch is Barkvious Mingo, as Rex Ryan apparently loves that guy)

14. CAR-SHELDON RICHARDSON DT MIZZOURI (They've been all over him for a long time, plus it's the long lost son of owner Jerry Richardson)

15. NO- BARKEVIOUS MINGO DE/OLB LSU (I never really know what the Saints are up to. Pass rusher is my guess though, and Mingo or someone like Jarvis Jones could be the selection here)

16. STL-DEANDRE HOPKINS WR CLEMSON (They need a safety too, so I wouldn't be surprised if they take Vaccaro here. That's been the narrative all along. Honestly at this point, i'm so sick and tired of moving all these parts back and forth that i'm going with Hopkins here so it alligns with my Cowboys prediction)

17. PIT-TYLER EIFERT TE NOTRE DAME (Why the hell not? They could go a number of directions, but this just seems to make sense)

18. DAL-KENNY VACCARO S TEXAS (I'm not sold on Vaccaro as the best safety, as i'm forever a Cyprien lover. If I was a Cowboys fan I wouldn't be thrilled with how the draft played out at this point. They could do worse than filling a need though. We all know they need O-line help, but at this point taking an offensive lineman at 18 just wouldn't be smart)

19. NYG-TANK CARRADINE DE FLORIDA STATE (Another pass rusher to NYG. Yikes. His name is Tank too. Cornelius Tank. Just let that sink in )

20. CHI-ARTHUR BROWN ILB KANSAS STATE (Brown is really not talked about much, especially considering his brother is a running back in the league. Good player, but there is apparently questions about his size as he's just a tick over six feet tall. I wouldn't worry about that though, as Michael Gruber is living proof that you don't have to be six feet tall to be successful in this world)

21. CIN-JONATHAN CYPRIEN S FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL (Ahhh, my love affair with Cyprien ends as I don't see him sliding to 26 for my Packers. Cincinnati is rumored to be huge on Cyprien, and I think they'll trade down to get him or will reach and snag him at 21)

22. STL-ERIC REID S LSU (They get their safety after all. It must be nice having 2 first round picks)

23. MIN-DJ HAYDEN CB HOUSTON (Either Hayden or Xavier Rhodes here. I don't really have a good read though. It's possible both of them are gone by 23, but not in my scenario. The possibility of the Vikings taking a wide receiver has been heavily reported as well)

24. IND- DATONE JONES DE UCLA (I really like him. I would honestly love it if the Cowboys considered him at 18, even though that might not be the smartest thing for them in terms of need. He can play anywhere on the defensive line. This is another situation of my eyes being glazed over and just kind of filling voids on my entire mock though)

25. MIN-MANTI TEO LB NOTRE DAME (I think if the Vikings don't pick him, then he falls out of the first round. I guess Baltimore could take him at 32. The purple punk faces apparently like him a lot)

26. GB-EDDIE LACY RB ALABAMA (I don't really want the Packers to do this. I sense they'll trade out of the first round. I would really hate this pick, but I can't deny how imminent it's becoming)

27. HOU-CORDARELLE PATTERSON WR TENNESSEE (I have no idea what Houston is going to do. Just a hunch here)

28. DEN-JARVIS JONES OLB GEORGIA (Remember that fax machine guy named Elvis?)

29. NE-KEENAN ALLEN WR CALIFORNIA (Brandon Lloyd gone, so why not. How about a smart route runner. Could also see them snagging Geno Smith and trading him later. New England is wild)

30. ATL-SYLVESTER WILLIAMS DT UNC (Could be a possible Cowboys target at 18. I find him to be a tad overhyped. I also once stole a gift card from Junior Miller. I'm the butthole here, and probably wrong. Nonetheless, he probably won't fall this far but if he does I think Atlanta will gladly snatch him up)

31. SF-XAVIER RHODES CB FLORIDA STATE (Surely he won't slide this far. SF would pee their pants if this happened)

32. BAL-KEVIN MINTER ILB LSU (I've had them taking Minter since the beginning of time. Some ancient scribes say that my first words were "Minter to Ravens in 2013". Other ancient scribes say my first words were "Sorry about me, world")

Well that does it for me. Now off to the red box to grab my pre-draft movie. It's a yearly tradition that I watch the 1991 film "Backdraft" starring Kurt Russell, Robert De Niro, and one of the Baldwin brothers.

ZERO DARK THIRTY REVIEW

Cowboys Stadium, Arlington, Texas

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

2:39 PM

My overall movie watching game is as poor as the smell of Tim McGraw’s new cologne. I normally wouldn’t know that, but I took a bottle for free at a Ticket road show.  So now, my goal is to start getting around to watching all these movies that people have been hyping up. Why am I so late? I don’t know. I know I’m very familiar with that question, as my girlfriend (?) offers that up almost daily.  I’m not sure. I get behind. I don’t have time. I have to take care of “that one thing”.  All valid excuses, but mainly I think it comes down to an attention span smaller than the length of an episode of Children’s Hospital. 

It’s not my fault. I blame it on Steve Jobs. Put phone in hand, will use phone, must use phone, this isn’t even a phone, what was I talking about? Sorry, I was texting. Oh yeah, the movie…

I liked the movie. I truly liked it. It’s not how I want that story told though. I want HBO to give me a 5 episode 10 hour mini-series on the capture of that dirt bag.  That’s not even my real issue though; the issue is that the movie was longer than my average sleeping span. I’m serious.  I can’t sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, and the “Zero Dark Thirty” criticism I have is the same one I had for “Django Unchained” and the same one I would have for “Lincoln” had I seen it. Let’s trim the fat. As a nation, and in the film industry.  I just feel like movies shouldn’t be more 

than 2 hours and 30 minutes.

Wait, that’s your review Kevin? Yeah. I’m no Siskel, I’m more of a Sisqo The Dragon.  I liked it, but didn’t love it.  I feel like the Seal Team 6 crew was portrayed to be a bunch of tobacco chewing red necks. Maybe they are, but maybe they aren’t. See how I’m flip-flopping? That’s how I review movies, because I’m not Ebert, I’m more of a Seifert.

Why did I waste my time on this? Because the internet connection at Cowboys Stadium blows, and I’m trying to avoid my peers in the media.  I’m not proud of it, but that’s the truth. Social anxiety is a tough thing, plus everybody is being blowhards about this college basketball game between a couple teams that I don’t even know right now. Okay it was Michigan and Florida. I can’t tell a lie. Oh look a vacant seat in the Florida band…and an available trumpet…….

2013 LATE NIGHT WARS

Like a teenage girl I always soak in and bask in the drama of the late night television wars. I had a contact, a friend even, directly involved in the Conan vs. Leno welterweight title bout.  That friend also ended up having ties with Jimmy Fallon's show.  I'm not saying I had an insider's point of view, but I did know about certain things before most of the nation did.  Why didn't I use this information to pull a "Steve Tacos Al Carbone", and use this info to my advantage?  It would have possibly allowed me to make more than my fairly close to minimum wage for doing sports reports 3 times an hour every weekend. That's all very far away from the point of what i'm typing.

We have a developing situation on our hands here. Jay Leno 62 is about to be forced out (again?) from his gig as late night host.  Jimmy Fallon and The Roots will slide in and take his place, flawlessly and it won't be a story.  David Letterman is 67. I'm pretty sure CBS has been in contact with Fallon, using the "be patient and we'll take care of you strategy". 

Don't let the TV executives and media fool you.  Ratings don't matter when it comes to late night, and are on their way to be almost totally irrelevant in general when it comes to television.  Old people die. Late night talk shows won't.  Sure there is competition, and you want to beat your competitors, but the flawed TV ratings system is not how you determine who is winning in the battle for late night.  DVR ratings, web site hits, hulu views, and more are taking over as what really matters. 

NBC appears to be thinking clearly for once. Leno must go, and they must get younger at that position. Don't think CBS isn't thinking about this as well.  So what happens next?  In my estimation, a chain of events that will change Monday-Saturday nights on NBC for the forseeable future.

Leno out! Fallon in, and Seth Meyers to the 1130 central time slot. Meyers leaves SNL, where he serves as head writer.  Taking his place, Jason Sudekis who has been unhappy with his SNL role for a long time now.  He would not only get a pay raise, but more say in the way things happen on SNL.  The head writer doesn't neccessarily write the most, or do weekend update.  They serve as Lorne Michaels' right hand man, and they help with the trimming and editing of skits.  Sudekis wants power, along with the ability have a movie career.  I thought he'd be gone by now, but SNL talked him into staying.  This is just a guess, but NBC approached Sudekis and notified him of the situation months ago. 

Sudekis wanted out, and it was painfully obvious during last year's season finale in which they sent off Kristen Wiig.  He was underappreciated by SNL and now he will be reciprocated.  Fallon to 1030, Seth Meyers to 1130, and Sudekis running SNL.  Sure, I could be wrong, but it makes a lot of sense.  Maybe i'm just starting rumors and gossiping. I can't help it, the late night wars turn me into a dramatic teenage girl.

I love this stuff.